Romance At Age 3, Part 2

When our three year-old, Girl 1, came down with a decided case of twitterpation for a little boy in her preschool class, all of Pat’s protective paternal instincts kicked into gear.  Fortunately he channeled them into writing an old-timey radio drama (the first half is here).  Today I bring you the conclusion:

“Aaaand soooo, we are gaaathererd here todaaaay, to witness the love of Florebert and Girl 1 in Holy Maaatrimony, before the Lord”

*crash* “Stop this wedding at once!”

Vintage Postcard ~ Little Bride & Groom

“Oh my sweet Kyle!  I knew you would come!”

“Never fear, my love!  I shall never forsake you!”

“Daddy wanted me to marry that wretched man, and I just couldn’t bear it…”

“Wait, you father wanted you to marry him?”

“Yes, but I told him we were in love”

“You didn’t tell me you father wanted you to marry him.  You know you should always listen to the wisdom of your father”

“But Kyle…”

“Your father always looks out for you and wants what’s best for you.  I’m terribly sorry for interrupting the wedding everyone.  Carry on!”

“Oh, but Kyle!”

“I know we were in love and all but your father’s wisdom must not be questioned.  Shame it didn’t work out, but I see that Ava-Emma-Olivia over there is available…”

Nine months later . . .

“Hi Girl 1, welcome back from your honeymoon!  How was it?”

“Oh Daddy, it was wonderful!  Bertie is an amazing man.  I think he must be a visionary or something; he was wearing the Rotting Trout scent long before it came into style.  To think that I hated it at first and now it’s sweeping the nation! Even I’m wearing it now!”

“I wasn’t going to say anything…”

“Oh and I found out what the big wedding gift surprise was.  Bertie knows I like Crate and Barrel, so he bought it for me!  What a great way to make sure we always have nice things!”

“That’s great!  And how are the octuplets doing?”

“Oh just fine.  They can be overwhelming at times but the servants are managing OK”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Well I need to go but just one more thing…”

“What’s that, Girl 1?”

“Well, I heard the news about Kyle…”

“Oh yeah, what a shock, huh?”

“Yeah.  I thought I knew him…”

“Well, there was no way you could have known that he was the infamous ‘Marry ‘Em and Bury ‘Em’ serial killer.  He had evaded the police for decades…”

“Yeah, well I just wanted to say that you were right about him and thank you for saving my life.”

“Ah, well, what are daddies for, anyway?”

AND SO, WE’VE REACHED THE HAPPY CONCLUSION OF OUR TALE.  THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AND REMEMBER, WHEN YOUR TUMMY’S GOT THE TINGLES, ALWAYS REACH FOR POWDERMILK BISCUITS, THE HAPPY HELPER OF HUNGRY HUMANS.  GOOD BYE!

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2 thoughts on “Romance At Age 3, Part 2

  1. That’s awesome.

    We had a case of Puppy Love. Rascal wanted to marry his cousin once (when he was 4) and I informed him that it’s not possible. So he took it philosophically and decided then and there to marry his dear little friend of the same age, a girl named C. No objections except for their ages, I thought if 1) he kept to his suit for the next 15 years and 2) was willing to brave her eight brothers (she’s 10 of 10 with 1 sister), and 3) most importantly her Dad, then kudos to him. However, she moved eighteen months later. He still mentions her every now and then, though.

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