I’m going to work again next week. I haven’t been “working” for the past six weeks or so. I had cried “Uncle” when the girls were sick so much this winter. My boss let me take a break. I have mixed feelings about starting up again.
Whenever I’ve started a new job after “just” staying at home for a while, it’s been out of psychological necessity. Needing to do
something with a beginning point and an end point, something that does not involve bodily fluids, something that could give me a sense of completion and let me get away from these screaming banchees. When my days were like this and like this, life felt like one endless cycle of feedings and diapers and mess. No matter how hard I worked, I felt I wasn’t doing a good job because some child was always screaming at me. Now, things are more peaceful. I have more time than ever but I’m less inclined to use it for outside-the-home type work. (I actually work from the home but you know what I mean.)
John Paul II wrote (if I recall correctly) something about the importance of “being” over “doing.” That modern society emphasizes “doing” too much. That always rubbed me the wrong way. “I’m more a do-er than a be-er, Your Holiness. Actually I suck at being. Where does that leave me? Huh? Huh?” (That’s “Eh? Eh?” for you Canadians.) And these days I’m feeling better at being than I ever have before. Unfortunately, it makes me feel just a bit like a lazy bum. And also . . .
It would be nice to have some extra $$$ to work on my spring/summer uniform.
— 5 —
Or even get gel manicures on a regular basis.
Or build a 10 foot, cement block fence topped with barbed wire.
In other news, when she’s not running toward German Shepherds, my 14 month old has made it her life’s goal to splash in the toilet. Taking things in and out of the kitchen trash is a close second. Makes things exciting around here.
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- Maybe Pope Francis Will Teach Her To Pray (7QT) (thisfelicitouslife.wordpress.com)