In Which My Four Year Old Wants A Bikini

and I Contemplate My Impending Demise

— 1 —

First off, I wrote a guest post for Erika over at Stethoscopes, Style, and Grace (thanks Erika!).  It’s about my supposed minimalism and how I fared against Target.

— 2 —

Girl 1 has taken to drawing little tableaux on her MagnaDoodle every day.  It’s her way to unwind after school.  She likes to draw beach scenes of her and her friends swimming.


Recently Pat and I overheard the following:

Girl1 (to herself): And here’s me and C in our swim bras and swim underpants.

Pat and I exchange deer-in-the-headlights looks.

A few minutes later:

Girl1: Mommy and Daddy, can you get me a swim bra and swim underpants?

Me: Who wears a swim bra and swim underpants?  (Wondering if she got the idea from Barbie or elsewhere)

Girl 1: Oh . . . a ten-year old girl.

Me: Hmm.

A few minutes later,

Girl 1: Mommy, what do you call a swim bra and swim underpants?

Me: Um, a two-piece bathing suit.

Girl 1: Oh, can you get me a two-piece bathing suit?

Me [bracing for the storm]: Uh . . .  you see, Girl 1 . . . Daddy and I think it’s better for girls to cover their tummies.

Girl 1: Oh . . . How about a swim shirt with straps, with swim underpants [i.e., a tankini].

Me: Sure, yeah, that would be okay, if it covers your tummy.

Girl 1: Okay.  I want a pink one.  And Girl 2 can have a purple one.


Please don’t think she ever ever gives up that easily at any other time.

— 3 —

I think I’m coming down with strep throat.  I’m trying to fight it off with a home remedy:

strep throat

Garlic and cayenne pepper by the spoonful.  1/2 tsp every half hour.  Yowzers.  It’s potent.  But I already feel better after less than a day.  Also my saintly husband and his saintly mother have taken care of the girls a lot so I can sleep more.  That helps!

I’ve been on antibiotics four times in the past two years or so, including twice for a strep throat that just wouldn’t go away.  That’s why I want to avoid them this go-around.

— 4 —

I was thinking back on all the various ailments I’ve had in the past five years: strep throat, bad back, periodontal disease (not for lack of flossing, mind you; I’m very defensive about this), UTIs, yeast infections, sinus infection . . . . I kind of feel like:

“I’m melting!”

Back during college and law school, I don’t think I ever was sick enough to warrant going to the doctor.(I went a few times for more routine or preventative things, but not for actually being sick.)  Then it occurred to me:

Nature is telling me I’m no longer needed.

Think about it: I’ve reproduced.  Pat and I have replaced ourselves.  From an evolutionary standpoint, we’re extraneous.

If I had had kids at a more biologically appropriate time, say at 16 and 18, instead of 26 and 28, and if I had a few more of them, it would be even clearer.  They’d be big enough to gather their own nuts and berries and run away from predators.  Absolutely no need for me to stick around.

But, thanks to the marvels of modern medicine (and/or garlic), I’ll probably stick around decades and decades more.  And it’s all going to be one long . . . slow . . . process of decay.

— 5 —

Speaking of decay . . .  I’m pondering what kind of shoes to get to replace my worn-out, smelly, three-year old Sperrys.  Boots aren’t really comfortable for around the house.  Sometimes I just want some to wear my long-neglected cross-trainers (b/c, as you know, I don’t work out), but I’m trying to avoid that style deathtrap.

And they have to be something I can wear with socks.  I neeeeeed socks.  Especially in the winter.  Megan wrote a whole post (back in the glory days when she was still blogging), with shoe guidance for sweaty sock-dependent schmucks like me.   I don’t know if I have enough edge to wear Converse, though.


SONY DSC converse 2

I keep coming back to the idea of chukkas.

Are they a shoe?  Are they a boot?  What makes a chukka a chukka?  I don’t know.  (Doesn’t matter, because I have no money left in my clothing/shoe budget.)  Why do I have chukkas on the brain?

Oh yeah . . . .

— 6 —


Snow White runs away

Actually, Walter White dresses a lot like my dad. It’s pretty funny.  Something about that khaki pants, button-down shirt look is so familiar.  Except that my dad wears pants.  And not chukkas.

— 7 —

Speaking of style icons (were we? Yes, we were), Suzette and I had an interesting conversation about the shortfalls of looking to Marilyn Monroe for fashion inspiration.

I suggested  poor Norma Jeane’s early years for more workable outfit ideas:

Marilyn Monroe Norma Jeane striped shirt blue jeans

Cute right?

But it struck me how absurd it is for me to be dispensing any sort of style advice or what have you.  But I live to serve, so if the demands continue, I shall to go into business.  I plan to call it:

Matthew 15:14 Style Consultancy!

.  .  .  .  .  .

Thanks, Jennifer for hosting the Quick Takes link-up over at Conversion Diary!


17 thoughts on “In Which My Four Year Old Wants A Bikini

  1. I laughed at the evolution part. Fear not, Laura. You are still needed. Who else is going to give me winter shoe guidance? Heck, if it weren’t for you, I’d be still wearing flats with socks. Really though, l hope you feel better soon. And I hope you can advise on the shoe situation soon. Are clogs cool?

  2. Poor Laura! If you feel the need for a cup of tea getaway, just let me know. I have 3 small sniffly kids over here, and so far I’m escaping their blight.

  3. Suffering from what is probably strep (can I get that without tonsils?) or a sinus infection. Husband got a zpack (still coughing after 1 week of the pack) and I went with a honey, cinnamon, and thieves oil mix. Still congested but not coughing as much. and i didn’t get 6 hours of straight sleep during the weekend; I worked during the weekend.

    • Nice! ( your recovery, not your lack of sleep). Glad the remedy is working for you. Zpack scares me a bit. It really wipes out everything. Oh, and I’ve read you still can get strep even w/o tonsils. 😦

  4. Pahahaha! This is the BEST 7QT ever…Walter White style and me and Marilyn Monroe…I’m thinking Patty Mayonnaise over here! hahaha

    And I hope the crap-tastic goes away for you. All that dang perfect health – what the heck? Step it up perfect health! Laura needs a break!

    And um…hey while you’re ordering ’em, can I have “a swim shirt with straps, with swim underpants” please and thanks. 😉

  5. I once found a Mary Jane ballet flat from Clark’s, some vintage reproduction. If I had known that I would never fine this shoe again I would have bought 30 pairs. If it had the strap you can wear socks with it.

    I also used to wear doc martens, Mary Janes and the regular lace ups.

  6. I love garlic…it is like the world’s perfect medicine. We’ve avoided many a doctor’s visits and antibiotic with garlic and apple cider vinegar….cures all!

    And, as far as shoes go….I’m a fan of the Danskos/clogs look. Espeically if you wear mis-matched socks that clash with the rest of your outfit…it’s a whole new level of style.

  7. I know they’re expensive and I swore never to wear them because they’re all SoCal trendy, but…I am really digging my Toms. My husband bought a pair and immediately loved them. He has worn through 2 pairs and is on his third in about 3 years. Mine are a dark grey and lined with wool because I obliged him and bought them as winter slippers. I’ve been wearing them this fall (on dry days with temperatures between 35 and 70; I pull out galoshes for rainy days) and will wear them this winter, too, as long as wet snow is not an issue. I can wear them with jeans (grey is the best neutral for my coloring, instead of brown or black) and I’ve even worn them to church with dark grey pants. I can wear them with or without similar-colored socks with any type of pant and they look great! I really like how minimal the support is because I prefer to walk around barefoot to keep my feet strong. And, I’ve realized these might actually give me street cred with the uppity moms at my son’s private school. So, perhaps these are a casual option for you!
    Here is a link to the pair I have:

      • Ooh, I’ve thought about TOMS on and off. Usually I tend toward shoes with more support (e.g. Birks) but I’ve been thinking about the benefits of more “barefoot” type shoes to strengthen your feet. And TOMS are cuter than those five-toed shoes. 😉

  8. I loved this, Laura! You are so funny! I have never met Girl #1 yet – she has curlier hair! They’re both adorable. I can SO relate to the “I’m melting” scenario. I’ve been dealing with bursitis of the hips for more than a year now. Next week I’m going for my umpteeth cortisone shot. I’ve been doing the exercises appropriate for the malady, but I still need some medical help it seems. Otherwise, I’m dealing with rosacea a bit and just finished a UTI – which was odd, as I hadn’t had one in many years. I haven’t had a cold in a long, long time, however. I don’t even suck on “Coldeeze” like your mom does. As Meme used to say, “It’s hell growing old.” But there’s not much of an alternative, is there? Miss you Laura! You and Pat should bring those chilluns’ to Utah for a visit some summer! We have a pool where you can all wear your pink and purple bikinis! Love love. AA

  9. I hope you are feeling better, Laura! I think it’s hilarious that the strep remedy says “mix in honey to taste,” like it’s worth trying to make this garlic / cayenne combo a culinary experience rather than gagging it down as quickly as possible… If that was the only strep remedy, I’d probably die of strep.

  10. Oh, I love my converses and you can totally pull them off. However, they have horrible (that is, ZERO) arch support–or much of any other support. They’re just flat bottomed. Dad said that’s what they used to play basketball in during high school, but I can’t imagine jumping around on a hard surface in them.

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