How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bun

And Stop Treating a Haircut Like Confession

For most of my life now, I’ve felt like a failure.  A hair failure, that is.

Every time I go to the hair dresser, it’s like going to confession, where you say that line, “I firmly resolve to sin no more . . .” hoping that if you find yourself thinking, “yeah, right,” it doesn’t invalidate the whole thing.  I mean, you have the best of intentions, but you know yourself . . . .

So at the hair dresser’s, when she shows me how to blow out my hair, I’m all like,

Yeah, yeah, I’m totally going to do that.  Never mind that, my entire life until now, I wash my hair (if at all) at night and sleep on it wet, then slap that frizzy mop up high first thing in the morning.  No, never mind that.  This haircut will change all that.  From now on, I’m going to give my hair a proper, half hour blow out with a round brush and styling product.  Each and every day.  That’s right.  Yes, ma’am.

And then of course I go right back to the same old routine.  And then I feel like a failure.

So today I had one of those mind-blowing, life-changing epiphanies that seem to be coming fast and furious since I turned thirty:

All women throughout history have worn their hair up when doing manual/physical work.  

Not all women who do manual/physical work are failures.

do manual/ physical work all day.

Therefore, I am not necessarily a failure.

Try and invalidate that syllogism if you dare.  . . . No, nevermind, don’t.  But you see my point?

Ma Ingalls = not a failure.

Rosie the Riveter = not a failure.

Norman Rockwell's Saturday Evening Post cover ...

Norman Rockwell’s Saturday Evening Post cover featuring Rosie the Riveter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Marie Curie = not a failure.

English: Marie Curie

English: Marie Curie (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Me = not a failure.


How about you?  How do you style your hair on ordinary days?

17 thoughts on “How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bun

  1. I feel like plenty of hairdressers would be delighted with a client that didn’t heat style all the time! And it’s not just the bun – think of how recent the hair dryer as an invention is.
    Lately I’ve been leaving my hair down and after the 10th time my baby grabs it and jams it into his lovely slobbery mouth I think – why is it not in a pony tail! Gr

  2. Love this post. My hair alternates between very long and very short every year or so when I decide to go get a haircut (or it falls out lol). In between, it’s up the vast majority of the time. Having my hair down and trying to complete tasks makes my skin crawl–and eating? Gross.

  3. Maybe we are twins? Separated at birth? 😉
    I have alwaysalwaysalways treated hair appts like confession, shamefacedly trying to hide the elastic on my wrist that I JUST pulled out of my hair…knowing it will be back IN my hair in 24 hours time…

  4. Yep, my hair is almost always pulled back. Going to the hair confessional- I mean cutters, is about the only time my hair is blown dry and styled. I just don’t have the time at home!

  5. I tried to leave this earlier but the browser ate my comment. What I was going to say was, if the bun makes you feel good about your look, then do it!

    Personally, I do a wet pin curl set about once a week, and then deal with the results the rest of the days (so sometimes a back roll, sometimes a scarf, or curly updo, or sometimes Victory rolls with a snood, or simply clipped back ala Hedy Lemarr). I do know certain styles make me feel schlumpy or overdone or kill my scalp, so I try to avoid them. (Buns at the nape of the neck fall into the former category, a Betty Grable updo falls into the latter two). But all my styles are easy-care, git-er-done sort of styles because, really, ain’t nobody got time for that.

    I have naturally curly hair, so the only time my hair is straight is after a hair cut (which is woefully infrequent), and it is usually starting to curl up again as I’m walking out of the salon. Home straightening just isn’t an option for me. Plus, curly works better with my vintage style anyway. Bonus!

    • I should also say, since you mention working in long hair: during WW2, factory girls had to wear turbans (ala Rosie) and would leave their pincurls in under the turbans for their shifts. After shift, they could take off the turbans and pull out the pins, and their hair was ready to go. Genius, if you ask me.

  6. You should have heard my hairdressers comments when I told her that I didn’t use shampoo. And that I hadn’t been to her in 2 years (I didn’t tell her I was cutting it myself though… lol). Buns FTW!

  7. haha! I so know what you mean! Every time I go to confression…I mean to get my hair cut they always ask me how long it’s been since I was last in. Every six weeks…yea…not happening haha.

    My hair has been in a pony tail since my son was born. It’s fast, easy and it keeps him from pulling it or getting food in it haha.

  8. First, loving the pic of Colin Firth in his Mr. Darcy gloriousness. Second, honestly, some days my curly hair closely resembles a troll doll on a good day. I am thankful for the small wonder of hair ties so I can wear my hair in a bun.

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