Marital Bliss in the Land of the Walking Dead

1. This post was supposed to be all about how I’ve turned over a new leaf in life. For the past four weeks I’ve focused on balancing my hormones, reducing stress, and practicing awareness. I’ve cut out coffee (again), done yoga and deep breathing, and cut down big time on my internet usage.

And then.

2. I was up with one or both of the girls last “night” from 3 am on. I won’t bore you the details, except




3. The 2-year-old woke up for good at 5-friggin’-thirty (daylight savings time!!!!)  asking for “num num” and “watch Pooh.” I gave her milk and then tried to get her back to bed until the five-year old woke up.

Fine. Whatever.  Everyone’s watching Winnie the Pooh.  Is it a matinée or the late late late show?  Who cares?

I roused Pat and left for my adoration hour.

4.  But first I stopped for a Dunkaccino.  I’d been so good for all those weeks and I felt like a zombie and I just needed a Dunkaccino.

5.  And then my day seemed to turn around.  Around 7:30 am the sunlight came in through the window and streamed down on the monstrance, and it was a heavenly sight of gold and light.  I came home energized and upbeat with a spring in my step.  (Nothing like going off caffeine for 3 weeks to make a Dunkaccino real effective).

A few hours later . . .

6.  I went into Pat’s office to make a joke about the sleeping situation and 0.3 seconds later it turned into an exhaustion-fueled, sugar-crash induced argument about how to solve the non-sleeping nature of our household at night.

Relationship experts often say to use “I” statements when you argue.  Avoid accusations.  Just describe how you think and feel.  This, supposedly, is less combative.

That’s a bunch of crock.  I’ve tried it.

Honey, sweetie pie.  Whenever you open your mouth I just feel like I married a mean, arrogant jerk.

This just pisses them off.

7.  The better advice: just let your spouse win.  Let him be right, even if you know he’s wrong.

And that’s what I did.

After several rounds of arguing, I rose above, took my lumps, and let Pat have his way.  We’re trying his half-baked plan tonight.

He’ll get up with the girls all night.

Jerk face.



{Linking up with Jen!}


25 thoughts on “Marital Bliss in the Land of the Walking Dead

  1. I feel your frustration my 3.5 year old is awake longer than we are some nights it’s horrible!
    And then the arguments happen and you feel like screaming ” if I’m doing it so wrong you do it!” Like that’s gonna happen!

    Blah I hear you sister

  2. haha! know it’s not JUST you! my oldest will announce at random times, “Yeah, i just don’t like to sleep! I’d just want to be awake all day and all night!” with such a cheery voice that if he weren’t my own flesh and blood I’d want to punch him. Middle child will sleep until 7 … if he’s in our bed with his head on my face and his feet in my husband’s zone. 😛 At least the babpy sleeps well . . . knock on wood . . .

  3. Cuteness only gets people so far, doesn’t it? The boy has been Lego-obsessed lately and almost all of them involve sirens, which makes me so happy when it rouses me to consciousness each morning. At least the three year old isn’t waking everyone up with her rooster impression anymore. And my sweet 3 month old decided that it was morning at 5:30 yesterday morning, too. By the way, I’ve been parenting solo this week. You’d better bet that Saturday I’m running away for some retail and caffeine therapy as early as I can!

  4. Five-thirty every morning was Rocky’s schedule for the first 4 years or so of his life – maybe 5. Then it went to 7:30 one day. He’s now 13 years old and it’s starting that I have to wake him up. Sometimes. Rarely, but sometimes. Rob reminds me, now and then, of an afternoon when he came home from work and I walked out the door when he walked IN the door to leave him with the baby while I went to the grocery store to buy my first can of formula so HE could feed the baby “on demand”….shouting from the car window, “I wasn’t the ONLY one who wanted this baby!”
    I feel your pain.

  5. Every night with Leo is like a round of roulette. There is no rhyme or reason. Some nights he sleeps through, others he’s up for hours in a row. Some mornings he sleeps until 9:15 am and others he’s ready for the day at 6:30 am. I’d like to think I could handle anything if it was just more predictable. It’s the random nature of it all that makes me wave my white flag in ignorant desperation.

  6. Our kids have gone through good and bad sleep habits too. My newborns never sleep longer than 2-3 hrs, and my sisters’ kids (same age) always sleep through the night on their own. Grace (3 1/2) is a early bird (naturally wakes at 6:15am) when I would rather her sleep later –after I am up with a newborn all night– and I JUST got her to sleep til 6:45/7am but now she stays up til 9pm bouncing in her room …which really bugs my husband who goes to bed early/ leaves for work at 5am. So long story short I totally get you, and I hate the conversations too (“why don’t you cut her nap? She is 3” “because then she is a total grouch and I need my break in the middle of the day because you work 12 hrs and if it was that easy I would have fixed it!”). I will never take sleep for granted again once I am over the baby/toddler phase. 🙂

  7. Found you (again?) via 7QT…and just noticed your “about” description of being a recovering overthinker…I am a recovering control freak. My husband is a recovering perfectionist. As you can imagine, this combination often leads to much looooooonger discussions than actually need to take place. But you’ll find a solution and it will all fade in memory. 🙂 Here’s to some sleep for you guys!

      • Good! We had a couple of scary nights last week when we were like “what?? We’re doing THIS again??” but thankfully things are back to normal…for now. Probably til Callan cuts another tooth or something.

  8. Hi, I’m new to your blog, good evening! I don’t know the history here, but if they are still napping, I’d say to cut out naps. My kids only nap until no later than 3 yo, and after that if they nap, their night time sleep is a problem. I’ve spent many long conversations with other moms listening to nighttime sleep drama, only to hear a passing reference to how their kids don’t want to nap anymore either, and it just seems so obvious…if they are fighting naps and fighting sleeping at night, then they are probably having too much sleep forced upon them. (I don’t know your situation or if this is the case, I’m just throwing this out there!) Naptime can be replaced with TV time or some such quiet activity and I find that they DO adjust to not napping and become less crabby later in the day after a week or so of dropping the naps.

  9. Oh Laura, I’m so sorry the girls aren’t sleeping! I’m pretty much a mess when I lose even an hour of sleep, so I imagine if I ever have kids I will just probably just collapse or be a walking zombie. 😦

  10. Haha! I am on pins and needles to find out Pat’s brilliant plan and how it worked!!! You know the saying “with great power comes great responsibility?” Sometimes I feel like the F1/F2 version of that is “with great cuteness comes great high-maintenance-ness”.

  11. Hahahaha–your “Honey, sweetie pie. Whenever you open your mouth I just feel like I married a mean, arrogant jerk.” reminded me of the days I was on the FlyLady bandwagon and all these gals are referring to their husbands as “DH” which I had to look up thanks to my acronym/abbreviation illiteracy. Apparently it means “Dear Husband” but they way in which they used it (“DH didn’t make the bed AGAIN this morning despite all my hints”) made me think that the D didn’t always stand for “Dear.” Haha. 😉

    Hang in there. We JUST got our four-year-old to go to sleep at night without one of us next to her. And if we’re lucky, she might stay asleep past 6am too….

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