Adventures in Bad Housekeeping

Battling bugs, swilling juice, and my Ashlee Simpson moment


I graduated first in my law school class.

I’ve spent the past week trying to outwit a bunch of fruit flies.

And failing.

I’m not sorry about the path I’ve chosen in life.

But some days are better than others.

Fruit Fly Death Trap

Photo credit


I made fruit fly traps using the old cone-of-paper-in-a-jar-of-vinegar method.

I’d see them fly down into the cone but somehow the little buggers kept coming out.

Finally  it occurred to me that I didn’t tape all the way along the edge of the paper, leaving a gap they could fly out of.  Seriously, this took me about 5 days to figure out.

In the meantime, I tried out the saran-wrap-stretched-across-the-jar-with-holes-poked-through method.

One evening, I stood transfixed watching a fruit fly sniff its way across the Saran wrap and–blip!–nosedive through one of the toothpick holes, never to fly out again.

It was the best part of my week.


We also found moths in our pantry and (yet again) in the coat closet.

I’m supposed to take all the canisters of grains and flour and dry goods and stick them in the freezer to kill off the eggs.

And I had shelled out a lot of money to buy a bunch of nifty, matching canisters.  I know plastic causes cancer and whatnot, but I chose cancer over bugs.

Turns out, I get cancer and bugs.


(Mild to moderate TMI ahead)

Speaking of bugs, I’m trying to beat a UTI with unsweetened, 100% cranberry juice.  I’ve downed about 80 ounces of the stuff in the last 48 hours.

I think it’s getting better.

My one big victory over bugs so far, and even then it’s really too close to call.


The fruit flies haven’t made it to my room yet, but if they do they’ll keep me up all night.

With their sneezing.

My bedroom is coated in dust.

Our whole house is dusty, but especially my bedroom.

I religiously change the air filters; I’ve vacuumed all the intake and outtake vents; we’ve had the ducts cleaned.  We had the furnace replaced recently.

Still, the dust keeps coming.  I can dust the top of my armoire and a thick coat will reappear in two weeks.


It’s affecting my self-esteem because the two most dusty areas in the house are the kitchen/dining area

and my bedroom.

I spend the majority of my time in those areas, by far.

And you know what dust is right?

Mostly skin cells.

What’s wrong with me?  I am some sort of super-skin-shedding freak?

So I have an Ashlee Simpson moment whenever I enter my bedroom.

Ashlee simpson pieces of me gif

7. So that’s my life; how’s yours?

Linking up with Jen for 7 Quick Takes.


11 thoughts on “Adventures in Bad Housekeeping

  1. I should invite you over our house right now. You would feel a lot better about yours!
    🙂 Also, bugs are the WORST! We went through a series of pests in our old apartment: weevils, ants, mice and carpet beetles! Prayers yours resolve quickly.

  2. Gah! We’ve had issues with the fruit flies too! We found not putting a lid on the vinegar actually helped more than the cone/plastic wrap methods. Oh and ad a drop of dish soap. I’m not sure why, but they’re flocking to it and it’s killing them off! Of course I bring home a banana and suddenly we’ve got a ton again. But it’s keeping them at bay.

    • Yes to vinegar and dish soap! Our method is a couple wine glasses (I think the shape makes it hard to get out?) 1/3 filled with cider vinegar with a couple drops of dish soap. They all fly in and die.
      Good luck!

  3. These past two posts are great! They’re so real and great reads. 🙂 I can definitely relate!

    I have gone back and forth on cleaning “naturally” with vinegar and using chemicals. Despite a math degree from U of M, I never recall that cleaning with vinegar attracts fruit flies until it’s too late… back to Windex Multi-surface!

    I beat UTIs with cranberry juice, too. I’ve found that the secret is avoiding other sugary foods and also drinking as much water as you can. I spread out a 64 oz container of cranberry juice over two days. I consider it the burn and flush method–cranberry acidity and flooding with water! Like, if I’m not fully using the bathroom every hour or so, I need to drink more water. Good luck! UTIs are the worst! 😦

    • Oh man, guess what I just did? Wiped down my pantry and food cabinets … With vinegar! I read that’s the thing to do for moths. But it’ll attract fruit flies! *face palm* the fruit Flies finally seem to be dying out on their own tho.

      Sent from my iPhone

  4. I don’t know what it is with fruit flies but they’ve been terrible ever since I moved here. I heard they often make nests in your kitchen sink drain or garbage disposal, and if you pour bleach down it’ll kill them. I tried that, and it worked for a while, but they came back. So I gave up and bought a small desk fan. All of my non-fridge produce goes in a bowl and the fan blows over it. We still have fruit flies, but they can’t get the fruit.

  5. Ugh we had serious fruit fly issues too – I actually did an experiment to see what method would work best – open container vs. saran wrap vs. inverted sandwich bag w/tip cut off and rubber banded over glass. Anyway, the inverted sandwich bag was BY FAR the winner. Those suckers couldn’t get out, but they could get in REALLY easily. And yeah, I took a kind of disgusting interest in what method worked best… It’s just so satisfying to see something work!

  6. Such a funny post, Laura. Thanks for sharing your housekeeping adventures. I read somewhere that bananas, mangos and avocados should be kept separate from other fruits so they won’t ripen as quickly. Maybe that would help the fruit fly problem?

  7. Ok – my turn to give fruit fly advice bc I just finished dealing with this never before seen problem in my kitchen – I absolutely haaaaate bugs so having fruit flies really bothered me! The comment above about the dish soap is the best method imo. I use a quart size mason jar (wider mouth), fill with water and add several drops of dish soap so that it will foam up pretty heavily. You want the foam to be bubbling up on the top quite a bit. Pour in a tablespoon or so of balsamic vinegar and put it right near those pesky little bastards. They are attracted to the vinegar but get caught in the puffy suds. I leave my jar overnight and voila!! In the morning the flies are gone as they have successfully trapped themselves in the suds.Good luck!

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