The Summer of Bratitude and Other Assorted Thoughts

I read Jenny’s recent post with a lot of interest.  I think her point there and, even more, her point here, are basically what I was trying to say here.  I thought it then and I still think it now: we have a shortage of religious vocations because sex has been oversold.  Consequence-free sex.  And even those of us  who go into marriage committed to Church teaching probably still underestimate the consequences.  This makes me sound . . . um . . . frustrated and dissatisfied.  And I’m not, generally.  It’s just that the consequences of my sex life are still screaming at me at friggin’ 10 pm, as per usual the past few weeks, and the convent is starting to sound not half bad . . . .

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Seriously, the brattiness levels here have been off the charts.  I understand why some find the word “brat” offensive.  I’d never call my child, or any other child, a brat within their hearing.  Maybe they’ll read this in five or ten years and be offended but seriously . . . if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, etc.

I was so out of commission the first three months of this pregnancy, I must have let discipline slide a lot.  I generally did whatever was the path of least resistance.  I don’t remember many details.  But man, give them an inch. . . .  We still get fast food way too often, but I’m cutting back.  It got to the point (still is at the point) where, if they get nuggets and fries Chick-Fil-A, they whine because I didn’t also get them ice cream.  Ridiculous.  For Pat and me both, eating out was a huge treat when we were growing up.  And for my kids it’s no big deal.  And of course the only one I have to blame is myself

. . .  and the new baby.  Even now, at 18 or so weeks, I can’t stand the thought of cooking meat.  I cooked some bacon the other day, and I just recently started heating up those pre-grilled Tyson frozen chicken strips and can stand to eat them.  But thinking about them grosses me out.  I’ve been eating a lot of cold cuts, and beans.  But you can only eat so many beans.

My scathingly brilliant idea I just came up with this evening is to buy a bag of miniature marshmallows.  Tomorrow evening, I’ll set out 5 for each girl.  Every time they get out of bed or scream at me from bed, I throw away a marshmallow.  I think I got the idea from this:

I’ll let you know how it works.

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Y’all, I am just so tired.

This is the story of my life right now.

I’m mostly stopped trying to do any more than I can do.  It’s just what I can do is so pitifully little.

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We have a contract on a house, and it’s an emotionally exhausting process.  I remember–now–why we said, “never again!” when we did this seven years ago.

Basically, the house we’re looking to buy has everything we want: location, size, layout, yard, view.  It also has mold, radon, and bats.  Oh my!  And it’s at the tippy-top of our price range.  I have plans to write a post titled, “Kicking Dave Ramsey to the Curb,” because that’s what we’re doing.  So crazy.  We’re still in the middle of inspections and negotiations, so it may all fall through.

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I love Lisa’s summer momiform.  I’ve been shopping at LOFT a lot too, since Girl1 has a weekly vision therapy appointment in a professional/retail complex that has a LOFT at the other end.  I drop Girl 1 off, then mosey through the parking lot with Girl2, who has to balance-walk on every curb, inspect every blob of guano, and generally move at a snail’s pace.  Then I have about ten minutes to look through the store and hurriedly try things on before going back through the parking lot to get Girl 1.

Then walk back through the parking lot to try more things on while the girls scream and shriek at each other, fondle the jewelry, lick the mirrors, turn off the store lights, etc.

Then I maybe buy something, or maybe have a saleslady order a size or color not available in store through the website for me, because shipping is free if you order through the store.  Then we leave a stuffed mermaid in the store, just for the fun of returning for the third time in one day.

What mermaids wear to Mass

Then the next week, I bring 75% of my purchases to the store to return them (saving on return shipping fees) and repeat steps 1 through 1,000,000.

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After all that, though, I have no cute maternity outfits to show you.  Today, this was my #ootd and it possibly also was my #potnb*, embellished by the three-year-old with thigh sequins and a makeshift Frozen necklace.

IMG_8844

(*pajamas of the night before)

I bought these Lou & Grey linen “jogger” pants (in navy blue) at full price (ouch) and they were worth it because they are so comfortable.  The waist is huge, which works as my belly is expanding.  I don’t look really pregnant yet, but the belly’s definitely expanding in a slow, all-over spread.  The pants are really baggy and probably look awful but I don’t care.  I also got these linen pants when LOFT was running a 50% off in-store special; same deal: baggy, frumpy, comfy.

I’ve fallen into the trap of feeling fat and buying clothes that are too big, which makes me look sloppy and bigger.  I’ve fallen and I can’t get out.

But it’s an ego boost.  I made a huge order of maternity pants from Asos and nothing fit.  I ordered them all about a size bigger than my pre-pregnancy size.  I still have post-traumatic stress from ordering maternity jeans last go-round 1 and 2 sizes up from my pre-pregnancy size and still barely getting them past my knees. Oh the misery.  Never again.

So.  This time I ordered all these baggy, jogger-style pants a size up and they were ridiculously, ridiculously huge.  Like these:

IMG_8792 IMG_8793

During her first pregnancy, my sister Martha ordered a bunch of maternity stuff from Asos.  She mentioned to me that she returned everything because “nothing really worked.”  And I remember thinking, “Seriously?  Do you really need to be that picky?”  (Don’t you wish you had me as an older sister?) And now . . . .

Also, I ordered some maternity shorts from Target (these and these).  They’re all fine, but my legs already are retaining water like you would not believe.  This happened with my prior pregnancy, too.  I felt like such a fat cow.  “omg! I’m eating so much my legs have gotten visibly fatter!”  But now I realize it’s just water.  And there’s not much I can do about it.  Except to drink more water (trying to), eat more protein (trying to, but see meat problem, supra), and (supposedly) wrap wet cabbage leaves around my legs (nope).

So I’m returning all the shorts. There’s no need to expose my legs to the world.  Except I might possibly keep this linen pair, again non-maternity, again from Lou & Grey.  Because it is summer, after all.

And if only my dimples were on my face.

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Whew!  Okay, the girls finally have fallen asleep. . . .  Thank you for anyone still reading through to the end of this ramble.  I’ve missed writing here.  I wish you all the best for the rest of the week, and I hope to post again soon.

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23 thoughts on “The Summer of Bratitude and Other Assorted Thoughts

  1. I LOVE reading your posts! It takes me back… not nostalgicly ( is that a word?) but triumphantly, knowing I survived! And, you shall too! Hang in there! XO

  2. I was laughing so hard about the marshmallow out of the window idea. Car rides are awful for us. Ummm with the bed on the floor, if she’s going to cry anyway (**mean mom here…) maybe have her cry in her own room? And put a pillow on your head and go back to sleep? Not that I’ve done that before. We are going through the scared of the dark phase so we leave the hall light on. If they’re quiet, they can have their door open. If they cry/scream/whine we shut the door and my husband takes care of it. I’m pregnant too and can’t deal with no sleep. Also I finally (FINALLY) started feeling better at 22 weeks. I hope you feel better soon. The 1st trimester/morning sickness can be so rough. Especially when food makes you sick and you feel fat. Three things that I have LOVED this pregnancy… the Boden Casual Weekend Dress (size up one size) and Boden Casual Jersey dress (wrap style). And I got some white capris from Macy’s + tunic type maternity topics (cover the butt), and Lands End Starfish Style Pants (you don’t even need to size up). They are like glorified yoga pants, so I can wear them in public and they aren’t super thin. I carry a lot of weight in my butt/thighs so those 3 outfits works best for me.

    • The Boden casual jersey dress would probably be good for you right now too–it’s got a lot of discreet tummy room. It would also be great post-baby–I just got one and it’s super nursing friendly with the crossover top but also not scandalous which is important too 🙂

  3. Congratulations on the house! I think home buying is where Dave Ramsey and I part ways. I love his advice in theory but in reality it means we will probably never buy a house. Not that home buying is something my husband has the least bit of interest in right now–after all the crazy storms we’ve been having water started falling from the ceiling in our sunroom and then our basement flooded and he turned to me and was all, “see! This is why we aren’t going to buy a house and then end up having to rent it when we move.” I guess you can file that under frugal/responsible/annoying military husband problems 🙂

    • If rents weren’t so high compared to home prices out here, I’d seriously consider it! . . . Yeah, Dave . . . we used basically his method to get out of debt and save. But if we stuck to his plan strictly we’d be stuck on Baby Step 4, maybe 5, forever. Never move into a bigger house, never invest in real estate.

  4. You can probably survive in maxi dresses & skirts for the summer, right? That’s pretty much what I did last summer – my legs are horrible and shorts? HA! Never going to happen. Plus with maxi skirts you’ve got lots of room to be all unladylike with your legs and nobody’s gonna care 😛

  5. That Life Hack meme is the most useful and funny one that I’ve ever seen. And we’ve had some hardcore bratitude around here too. I read the term “threenager” on a blog recently and, yep, that’s about right in our house…but I have also been reacting to/handling the ‘tude poorly so it’s an awful vicious circle. :-/
    And free shipping through the LOFT store?! Wow, what a deal compared to their outrageous $8.95 shipping online (seriously, so ridiculous!)! Thanks for the shout-out, btw. 🙂
    Also, congrats on the house! Prayers that everything will go smoothly. (And ours was at the zenith of our price range too…I was asking God, “really? it couldn’t have been under budget?”.) Have you checked if some HGTV show is looking to film in your area? 😉

  6. Geez. Glad you validated me to you for me. (Make sense?) 😉

    I guess that was before you got all hardcore momiform on us. xx

    • And P.S. meat was a real struggle early on in this pregnancy; in fact, I still can’t eat as much of it as I used to. It no longer turns my stomach but I just don’t _want_ it … hardly ever.

      • Interesting. I like meat just fine if someone else cooks it, preferably not in my kitchen. . . . I had grand plans to do a high-protein pregnancy diet a la Jen Fulwiler but that hasn’t happened, at all.

  7. Hang in there.. some (most!) days I can totally relate to this post.
    nothing fits in my closet – my fault for gaining 50 lbs this pregnancy.
    the house is a mess and im barely hanging in there.
    But hey, kids are fed! and LOVED.

    i like the idea of the marshmallows and candy training. 😛

  8. Oh I can relate to so much of this! Pretty much everything, except the home buying bit. Last week after going through all of the kids clothes and pulling out everything that didn’t fit, it became clear that we needed to make a consignment store run since they had 3-4 outfits that fit. On the plus side, we discovered that the consignment store in town has a kids playroom that you can leave your kids in while you shop! On the down side there was no AC in the store, eventually Sam got bored and decided that it would be more fun to try to play hide and seek in the racks. There was also a lot of mirror licking. Overall, we will call it a win.

  9. Ha yes! I was nodding along to so much of this. I am pregnant too, and we have done way too much eating out. We have totally had the same ice cream conversation. And the same bed one! We have three kids, the two year old sleeps in our bed, and the 5 & 7 year old seem to being joining us nightly again, after months of not. I actually set a twin up next to our king, literally they are touching. You can roll from one to the other! Buttttt, the big ones still insist on being right up in our space- it is as though the twin is not even there. It is mind boggling! (Also, I have totally called one of my kids a brat before – so that should make you feel better about yourself ;))

  10. Pingback: That’s My Bag–Quick Takes August 7, 2015 | This Felicitous Life

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